1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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