My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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