a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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