Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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