just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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