can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
