I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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