My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
