Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
