Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
