Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
