i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I deserve this hangover.
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