Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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