um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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