I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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