I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
