Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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