sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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