your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
