Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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