So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
