I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
