Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
