how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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