My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
