dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He has the fingertips of a God
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