i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize