i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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