is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
