quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my being single is dangerous.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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