Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
