thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Panties = found
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
