As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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