so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize