I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
