hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
