I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
