There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
