wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize