Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
smell my finger.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
