I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
