i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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