I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
