Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
