we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
