Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
