ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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