it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
