yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
