I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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