So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
