Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Green mimosas i think yes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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