that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
