Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
