hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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