Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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