It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary