just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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