Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
