the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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