Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize