My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize