how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
