i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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