Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the day after is always just damage control
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
