Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
