Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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