Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
