I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize