There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
